Dear friends,
It’s been awhile, and a lot has happened in my life.
I live in Washington, D.C. I get to live in Washington, D.C.
I’ve lived here now for almost two months, and I repeat that to myself as if to confirm that it’s true and not just a dream or delusion. I have to say it with even more “umph” sometimes though, like on an evening run my first week when I ran past the Supreme Court building, the Library of Congress and the Capitol building, all lit up. Or the times that I’m writing a story from the Senate Press Gallery.
There’s something about this city that’s exhausting and exciting and addicting. Even though I almost always want to smile about being here, I catch myself mimicking the furrowed faces of the business men and women I pass, who walk quickly and look like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. And knowing what goes on here, they very well might. The fact that this is arguably the most powerful city in the world is actually tangible, and it’s wild.
My mom and I had a conversation on the phone the other day, which isn’t necessarily unique considering I call her multiple times a week to ease my FOMO about what’s going on at home.
She was an intern in D.C. in her early twenties, and she said when she worked here, she felt like she was running the world. I laughed, both thinking of her roaming around D.C. doing who knows what, but also because I admittedly feel much the same way.
I don’t know what this says about my mom and I? Most likely that we both tend to overestimate our power and contributions to the world. But also, I think it speaks to how the feelings of this city permeate.
I feel really lucky to be in this place doing the thing I love most in the world. I know my contributions are small, but I feel like, because I’m doing them with my whole heart, they must matter, if only in my life’s little schematic.
That brings me to the exhaustion. While I love living here for so many reasons, there are many other reasons I find this city completely exhausting. The next little bit of this post probably won’t sound like a love letter. So, for anyone who won’t be able to handle hearing the frustrations of living in D.C., stop reading here.
My relationship with D.C. has passed its honeymoon phase where we both put our best face forward, hiding our quirks just to impress each other. Now, we are a couple getting to know the idiosyncrasies that are the true essence of each other’s identities.
Here are some of the things I’m learning to live with:
- The way the humidity ruins my hair as soon as I step outside.
- The way the city’s often swamp-like climate makes me feel like I’m a sweaty gym rat at any time of day.
- The time it takes to get anywhere, whether it’s because the metro is delayed or because my Uber driver had to stop and use the bathroom or because my feet can only move so fast.
- The unexpected whiffs of pee or body odor on the streets or in the metro.
- How much it costs to buy lunch or dinner.
- The way my morning smile fades as I pass crowds of frowning men and women rushing from Union Station to their jobs on the Hill.
- How many times I see homeless people trying to get comfortable or beg for money.
But don’t let this list make you think I don’t like it here. I really love it. Because, like I’ve said, I literally live in a place that makes the world turn.
Just the other day, I saw Marine One land on the White House lawn.
I owe this city so much because I’ve grown and learned about myself, others and the world in ways that I don’t think I could have anywhere else.
One of the most important lessons that I’ve learned so far can be summarized by a quote from President Thomas S. Monson, President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
“Learn the difference between that which is important and that which is not,” he said, in an address to the Church. This is something I’m still learning, but something so applicable to me right now.
I’m lucky to still have a month and a half here (hopefully more!), but I’m going to soak up every second, inhaling every moment. Even if some of those moments smell like pee.
Your tired and happy friend,
